So for TONIGHT…
I am grateful for…
1. FEAR
HUH????
Yes world…
I am..
AFRAID… of…
A LOT.
Much more than I am willing to admit. And when I was about 12 or 13 years old, I conquered one of my BIGGEST fears at that time which was..check it..RIDING A ROLLER COASTER!!
NO EFFIN JOKE.
This was one of my biggest fears!!
Which some may find surprising, perhaps even ironic, as many folks often comment that that they think I fear-LESS.
I’ve been refer ed to as a JUNKIE, savage, a nut-sicle, because I do the “craziest Sh%T!!! Running, hiking, slogging to the top of incredible peaks, adventuring in the woods into the wee hours of the morn, pedaling, paddling, pushing, pulling, yoga-ing…what wont this crazy gal do??
And while I may have accomplished countless PHYSICAL feat, what folks do not realize is, the reason I DO these things …is because..
I AM AFRAID.
I’m terrified of
…FAILING.
of not being “good enough”…
of giving up or giving in too soon..
of not reaching my potential…
of not making a significant or worthwhile contribution to this world…
of being alone…
of the dark…
and of whatever it is that is lurking up in the attic or down below in the crawl space .. 🙂
Yet…I refuse..
ADAMANTLY REFUSE…
To let the fear win.
Perhaps a nod to my stubbornness or competitiveness.
So whenever the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, or I can feel that “heat” building up and my heart start to pound…
Well then I know..that is THE FEAR.
And it must NOT win.
Therefore I will do the thing that the “fear” tries to tell me I cannot do.
I will do it ANYWAY…I will
DO.IT.AFRAID.
Clueless, Shaking, trembling, breathless, heart racing….
Because I would rather “do it afraid”..
( such as try to pursue a career as a writer… 🙂 g
Then not at all…
because that would most definitely ensure … my failure.
2. Stains on my shirt.
Why?? Because this is such a glorious, and subtle, reminder…that
NO.ONE.IS.PERFECT.
We All have “stains” … and perhaps we should celebrate them, instead of trying to clean them.
They DEFINE us, individualize us…
They make you.. YOU and me..ME.
And the best thing about them…is our stains on our shirts are our OWN… we cannot share them!! Perhaps we should instead show them off… acce accentuate them.
Perhaps I should not be so ashamed to be…
ME.
And here’s hoping that YOU TOO..will NEVER be ashamed to be …
YOU.
Or of stains on your shirt,
or the fear in your heart.
Because you can do it anyway…
you can….DO IT AFRAID.
But no way absolutely not will I ever go into that crawl space … 🙂
Until next time my loves…
